Monday, October 31, 2011

We're Off to See the Wizard ...

I had strangest dream about our congregation's Trunk or Treat last week ...

Dorothy: It really was no miracle. What happened was just this...

Dorothy: [singing] The wind began to switch / The house, to pitch / And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch / Just then the Witch / To satisfy an itch / Went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch!

Munchkin: And, oh, what happened then was rich!

Munchkins: [singing] The house began to pitch / The kitchen took a slich / It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch / Which was not a happy situation for the Wicked Witch!


Glinda, the Good Witch of the North: Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

Dorothy: I'm not a witch at all. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas.

Glinda, the Good Witch of the North: Oh. Well, is that the witch?

Dorothy: Who, Toto? Toto's my dog!


Dorothy: Now which way do we go?

Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way.

Dorothy: Who said that?

[Toto barks at scarecrow]

Dorothy: Don't be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don't talk.

Scarecrow: [points other way] It's pleasant down that way, too.

Dorothy: That's funny. Wasn't he pointing the other way?

Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways.


Dorothy: Did you say something?

Tin Woodsman: [indiscernible sounds from the Tin Man, who is rusted]

Dorothy: He said oil can!

Scarecrow: Oil can what?

Dorothy: Oil can.

Scarecrow: I'm not afraid of her! I'll see you get safely to the Wizard now, whether I get a brain or not. Stuff a mattress with me. Ha!

Tin Woodsman: I'll see you reach the Wizard, whether I get a heart or not. Beehive, bah! Let her try and make a beehive out of me!


Dorothy: Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had. And it's funny, but I feel as if I'd known you all the time, but I couldn't have, could I?

Scarecrow: I don't see how. You weren't around when I was stuffed and sewn together, were you?

Tin Woodsman: And I was standing over there, rusting for the longest time.

Dorothy: Still, I wish I could remember, but I guess it doesn't matter anyway. We know each other now, don't we?

Scarecrow: That's right.

Tin Woodsman: We do.

Scarecrow: To Oz?

Tin Woodsman: To Oz.

Cowardly Lion: Put 'em up, put 'em up! Which one of you first? I'll fight you both together if you want. I'll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I'll fight you standing on one foot. I'll fight you with my eyes closed... ohh, pullin' an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I'll... Ruff!

Cowardly Lion: [singing] I'd be brave as a blizzard...

Tin Woodsman: [singing] I'd be gentle as a lizard...

Scarecrow: [singing] I'd be clever as a gizzard...

Dorothy: [singing] If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve.

Scarecrow: [singing] Then I'm sure to get a brain...

Tin Woodsman: [singing] A heart...

Dorothy: [singing] A home...

Cowardly Lion: [singing] The nerve!

Cowardly Lion: [singing] I'm afraid there's no denyin' / I'm just a dandy-lion / A fate I don't deserve / I'm sure I could show my prowess / Be a lion, not a mouse / If I only had the nerve.


Dorothy: Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?

Cowardly Lion: Not nobody! Not nohow!

Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros?

Cowardly Lion: Imposerous!

Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?

Cowardly Lion: Why, I'd thrash him from top to bottomus!

Dorothy: Supposing you met an elephant?

Cowardly Lion: I'd wrap him up in cellophane!

Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?

Cowardly Lion: I'd show him who was king of the forest!


Tin Woodsman: What have you learned, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Well, I -- I think that it -- it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em -- and it's that -- if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?

Dorothy: Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home. Home! And this is my room, and you're all here. And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all, and - oh, Auntie Em - there's no place like home!

"A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others." -- The Wizard of Oz

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